It’s a Touchy Subject, and That’s No Bull

Mike Mussina: Medicine Man?

“I’m learning a lot about medicine,” Mike Mussina told reporters the other day in Baltimore. “I might take it up when I retire.”

The Orioles’ pitcher has a wart--and for those of you eating breakfast, we’ll leave it at that.

Nevertheless, it is a problem, because the wart is on the finger of his pitching hand. It could force him off the mound for a bit. Yes, it’s annoying. Yes, it’s gross.

But this is baseball, after all, and there is humor to be found in everything and anything.

“I was just told to stay away from frogs when I was a kid,” pitching coach Mike Flanagan said.

“It’s a virus,” Mussina told the Baltimore Sun. “Something called the human papilloma virus. That’s what [the doctors] told me.”

Oh yeah, didn’t he catch it in some small town in Spain?

“No,” Mussina said, “Pamplona is where they run the bulls in the streets. This is papilloma.”

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More Mussina: He has tried everything, but the wart keeps stalking him.

“I could put my hand down on a table and they could chop my finger off from the tip to below the wart,” said Mussina, who went on the disabled list Friday. “But I would probably be out for the rest of the year if I did that. I probably won’t try that.”

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Trivia time: The Dallas Mavericks have retired only one number--No. 15. Who was the player?

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Leaving Lavin: The postseason reviews of UCLA basketball keep rolling in, and Coach Steve Lavin was hit hard in his own backyard last week.

A headline in the Daily Bruin: “Utah’s Majerus should replace Lavin as leader of UCLA hoops.”

The subhead: “Poor coaching of players doesn’t uphold Pauley’s grand tradition.”

The headline certainly fit the column.

“Lavin’s greased-back hair may look much like [Pat] Riley but make no mistake Bruin fans--Lavin is no Riley.

“Since when has the UCLA basketball head coach position become a place where trial and error techniques are encouraged? This would be a great story if Lavin were learning on the job while at Boise State or even Pepperdine.”

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Hot card: Randy Moss, Marshall’s All-American wide receiver, is a valued commodity even before today’s NFL draft--with trading card collectors, and not only ones in West Virginia either.

“I bought six of them,” Marshall fan Bruff White said. “I have a friend in Florida who I told to get me all he can down there. They probably won’t be as expensive down there.”

Some fans have resold the cards for up to $20, according to the Herald-Dispatch of Huntington, W.Va.

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Gov. Summitt? Pat Summitt, coach of Tennessee’s Lady Vols, said she has been asked to run for governor.

Though Summitt calls herself an independent with a Democratic slant, she said if she ever ran for office, it would probably be as a Republican because Knoxville is traditionally Republican.

Don’t look for her to change jobs any time soon.

“I think I would be really frustrated,” she said. “Think about how long it takes to get anything done in politics.”

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Trivia answer: Brad Davis.

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And finally: Rolling Stone Ron Wood, who capped off a nine-day visit in Brazil by playing backyard soccer with 1994 World Cup star Bebeto: “Bebeto plays soccer like I play guitar.”