LAUGH LINES

Cribbing for Success: “The parents of Iowa’s famous McCaughey septuplets have endorsed the presidential candidacy of Republican Gary Bauer. This is the most drooling and dirty diapers in any political campaign since the last Strom Thurmond reelection.” (Jerry Perisho)

Going Down: An Empire State Building elevator with two people aboard plunged 40 stories before a safety system finally stopped the car on the fourth floor. “The passengers were not upset--they are stockbrokers and just considered the episode ‘a healthy correction.’ ” (Alex Kaseberg)

Blind Pitch: “A pair of social psychologists report that truly incompetent people may never know the depths of their own incompetence. Why else do you think the Dodgers announce every spring they’re going to win the World Series?” (Perisho)

*

Chris Pina’s

Essential Daily List

Incorrect Definitions

of the Word “Caucus”

* Comes after July.

* Crows swearing.

* That putty stuff around the tub.

* A type of shell.

* A Moroccan grain dish.

* Little kid’s expression for going No. 2

Got a joke? Send it to Laugh Lines by fax, (213) 237-0732, or mail, Southern California Living, Los Angeles Times, Times Mirror Square, Los Angeles, CA 90053.