Because we love those cute cats

You’ve bookmarked the website. Now you can talk about: “I Can Has Cheezburger?: A LOLcat Colleckshun” Because you can’t log on from everywhere, the team behind the inexplicably popular site (icanhascheezburger.com) has come out with this handy, pocket-sized book. Furry felines! Funny captions (“as god as my witness, I no eated da cookie”)! Get your fix.

(Tuesday)

Admit it. You’ve been dying to talk about: “The Happening.”

Wisely, you chose to skip it in theaters. But now, for a lesser fee, you can rent M. Night Shyamalan’s latest, about a killer breeze that makes the population suicidal and the science teacher, played by Mark Wahlberg, trying not to inhale. Laugh out loud from the comfort of your own home.

(Tuesday)

. . . and after you’d had your fun, kick-start Halloween for real by talking about: “Quarantine.”

Based on the Spanish horror movie “REC” (as in “record”), “Quarantine” follows a TV news crew that gets trapped in a quarantined apartment building where something mysterious has infected the residents. Could be better than both “Cloverfield” (you’ll see the monsters) and “The Blair Witch Project” (you won’t see leaves) combined.

(Friday)

There’s Stewart, there’s Colbert, but don’t forget to talk about Comedy Central’s: Sarah Silverman. She just won an Emmy for the now-infamous song about Matt Damon, and at some point during the new season of “The Sarah Silverman Program,” premiering this week, she’ll single-handedly take down Osama bin Laden with her car. Is there anything she can’t do?

(Wednesday)

Act fast if you want to talk about: “Just an Ordinary Man.”

It’s been a year since we last saw storyteller Joe Frank at Largo, where he premiered “The Blue Room” to sold-out crowds. This time you’ve got just two chances -- this Wednesday and next -- to soak up new material, this time a one-man play about a guy and the fantasy woman in his head.

(Wednesday)

-- Denise Martin